It’s not life if we don’t experience a few break ups and heartbreaks here and there. While there are some break ups that are for the better, majority of our relationships we have in life usually leaves us heartbroken, or perhaps, just a bit gloomy for a while.
I’ve had my fair share of break ups, and I had my first heartbreak last winter. I didn’t have anyone to talk to (or, I didn’t want to) which led me to become depressed and even had suicidal thoughts. I felt my heart aching and it felt like it just broke into a million pieces. I felt so lost without him and I honestly felt like I didn’t want to live in this world. I didn’t even want live in the same city as him anymore.
One of my best friend is going through her first heartbreaking break-up. It’s been about a week already and I worry because she’s spiraling down, similar to what I was going through. She’s taking two Advil a day just to numb the pain. I had prescribed painkillers during the time of the break up but I knew if I took one, I’ll want to consume the entire bottle in one sitting.
The same advice I gave to her, I’ll be sharing it with you. Most of these got me through my break-ups.
1. Cry it all out
Letting it all out is the best way to start your healing process. I did it alone in my bedroom, mostly at night time when nobody would bother me. I mean, I didn’t want my parents and my brother to find out how upset I was over the break up. I cried, and I cried. For how long? I can’t remember but trust me, it wasn’t a day. I just let everything out into my pillow before going to bed.
2. Surround yourself
Surround yourself with people, your loved ones. Surround yourself with hobbies, activities, events. Being with loved ones and keeping busy allows your mind to not think and dwell on the break up. It makes you feel much more productive and loved. Whenever I had alone time, my mind would slowly trek back to the break up, which led me back to square one. Heading out and reestablishing my relationship with friends helped me a whole lot. I didn’t have to tell them why I felt so upset, and they didn’t pressure me to tell either.
3. Delete him/her off everything
As soon as I had my heart broken, I deleted him off my phone, my Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, everything! I even got rid of our messages together and photos. Messages and photos can bring back strong memories and emotions that will hinder your healing process. By deleting him/her off everything, you don’t have to know what’s going on in their life, who they’re seeing, how well they’re doing, etc. etc. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. Clean out your room
Along with deleting him/her electronically, throwing away physical items such as gifts, pictures, movie stubs, etc. goes along with it. Some people like to keep such items, but for me, I gave everything up because I knew I couldn’t see or wear anything “The Boy” used to give me. To me, keeping the gifts felt like a constant reminder of losing someone I loved.
5. Go on casual dates
I’m not saying to jump back into the dating pool or meet new people as soon as you guys break up, but if you feel like you’re ready to just meet new people, go on casual dates. It doesn’t have to be serious, something like a coffee trip in the afternoon. Meeting new people makes you feel like there is someone out there for you after a break up. Meeting new people also means getting out and moving onto a new chapter in your life.
6. Get a make-over
This isn’t about proving to your ex that he just lost someone smokin hot, it’s about healing yourself. When I got my heart broken, I changed my look by starting wearing daily make up and dying my hair. Simple changes like a hair cut can change your mood in a positive direction.
7. Don’t ask about him
If you guys have mutual friends, don’t ask him about. Don’t talk about him. If your friends ask you about him, tell them you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t need to explain yourself to other people. You don’t need to see how he’s doing or how he’s moving on. You don’t need to know if he’s seeing someone new, or anything. Just leave it alone.
8. Get away
Go on a road trip! Get away for the weekend! I felt that leaving the city behind, even if it’s just for a day, felt amazing! I was surrounded by good company, making new memories in a new city, and experiencing new experiences. Leaving the city behind with memories of your loved one is such a refreshing feeling. And trust me, by the time you get back, you wouldn’t be too worried about your ex anymore.
Heart breaks are one of the worst things in life but trust me, you’ll get through it. You’ll realize that there is someone else out there in the world for you. It takes time to heal and in the end, it’ll be worth it!
Hang in there 🙂