Hardest Quarter of the Year…

Last year, on this day, we were at Playland. Although it wasn’t much of a trip, I still enjoyed that sunny day.

I think it’ll be hard to walk down the streets, with autumn leaves falling, and feeling Fall without the warmth of you.

I remember every Tuesday, snuggling in with a movie after class. I remember the advices and calls during class hours when I was stressing out over my Accounting worksheets.

The look on your face when I gave you the Canucks tickets.

I remember going to our first concert together. The Weeknd.

I’ll remember the coldness you brought in with this month.

I’ll remember the last few weeks of real happiness.

I remember my birthday – clearly. A celebration I’m not even sure I want anymore.

I remember, flying off to Toronto and coming back to a colder climate.

I remember the birthday gifts, the gifts I pushed back to you.

I remember you wanted time alone.

I remember our first hockey game together.
The bitterness of our cab ride.

I remember you replying, “I’m not sure anymore.”

I remember that cold sunny day, when my heart broke.

The last time I ever saw your face.

I remember our small texts. The way you told me, I’ll be alright.

How I desperately wanted to celebrate the holidays with you.

Did you ever consider Christmas gifts for me when I gave you mine? (Do you still use it, or is it collecting dust in the corner of your room?)

I remember, you telling me how we can work this out, in the near future. How you’ll be mine again.

I remember not being there to celebrate your birthday.
How it broke my heart.

I remembered, maybe, I’ll get to celebrate it next year.

I wish I can make these four months fly by without tidal waves of memories and flashbacks, accompanied by heartache. A feeling, I’m sure, you no longer experience.

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