1. Value your current friendships.
Here’s what I believe – there’s no point in having a boyfriend/girlfriend, if you lose friends on the way. I’ve learned this the hard way. With my first boyfriend, I neglected a lot of my best friends but thankfully most of them forgave me. However, my ex-best friend neglected us to the point where she lost all four of us as friends and “can’t understand why”.
Don’t be like my ex-best friend. Learn to balance friendships and relationship and have them intertwine. Whenever I date someone, my best friends and my boyfriend will always meet and I include them on plans. I have friends that separate and never introduce each other. Personally, I don’t believe that and I think it’s unfair to both parties. I’m not saying that you should have to include both parties in everything you do, but it’s healthy to include both parties from time to time. It’s also healthy to spend time with your girlfriends with no mention about your boyfriend.
2. Learn when to walk away.
This is harder said than done but trust me on this one. It’s better for your own heart and soul to walk away now than to endure a bigger pain in the future. I wish I knew this in my older relationships. From then on, I respect myself more. If a guy decides to lie or cheat, I’d walk away. I don’t need someone like that in my life to “love me”. A little white lie is acceptable but a full on lie with a shit excuse is another. Cheating should never happen if both people are committed to each other.
Don’t settle for someone that can’t even respect you enough to tell you the truth and to keep his hands off another girl.
3. Learn to compromise.
I’m not saying you should also to agree with your partner 24/7. In a relationship, you have to value the other person’s wants, and it’s not always about your wants. If you guys had sushi last week and your partner wants pho, go to pho. Don’t argue about it, just go with the flow. However, that doesn’t mean you should accept everything he wants. If he wants to have a stripper giving him a lap dance for no special occasion and you feel uncomfortable about that, let him know.
4. Love Yourself First
There’s a popular saying, “You can’t expect someone to love you if you can’t love yourself.” I believe that wholeheartedly. I’ve been with people who were extremely insecure and it’s a big turn off. I have insecurities but not to the point where I’d hate myself and doubt myself. Learn to love yourself – spend time discovering who you are, pamper yourself, be alone for a while.
5. Be Independent
There’s nothing more than I hate to see a girl that’s extremely dependent and clingy to their boyfriend. If you’re that clingy, I believe you’re not ready to be in a relationship. Not only does it make you look clingy/attached, it suffocates your significant other. Being independent doesn’t mean I don’t need help and support from my boyfriend. It means I don’t need him to show my with expensive gifts on a daily basis, it means I don’t need him to tag along when I do grocery shopping or when I’m invited to a birthday party that he doesn’t want to go. Being independent is attractive, trust me. But, if your man likes to feel wanted, don’t be tooooo independent ;).
What are some of the lessons you’ve learned from your relationships?