Music that described my exes & current boyfriend

I remember when I wrote “My Luck in Men” a few years ago and it was a fun and popular post. The other day, I was going through my Spotify and realized how certain songs reminds me of a certain guy.

And that is how this post came to be. Here’s the most accurate song to describe either the guy or the relationship itself. It won’t be for all the guys because there are some that I legit didn’t have a song for.

I’ll provide a short description to why these songs resonate with a relationship but if you guys are more curious, check out the My Luck in Men post!

Stuttering by Fefe Dobson for “The High School Sweetheart”

“There’s a whole lotta things that I will forgive but I just can’t take a liar /
Yeah you’re stuttering”

The Highschool Sweetheart sexted his first girlfriend and gave me a lot of BS lies like “she hacked into my Facebook”. Towards the end of the relationship, I also walked in on them together watching a Harry Potter film.

Everybody Knows by dUSTIN tAVELLA for “The Heartbreaker”

“He kisses you but he don’t mean it / Your boyfriend is a douchebag and everybody knows”

I remember when my friends and I went out for some wings and drinks and I told The Heartbreaker that I was going to meet up with him and his friends later (we were in the same restaurant but different tables). But plans changed and I left the restaurant with my friends temporarily. I can’t recall what exactly happened but I remember we ended up in Tim Horton’s and he was basically scolding me. We left the restaurant and my friends rolled their eyes. Later on, when this song shuffled on, the same friends told me that The Heartbreaker was a douchebag, haha.

Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute for “The Irish Lad”

“I can see you there with the city lights, fourteenth floor, pale blue eyes. Hold my breath as you’re moving in, taste your lips and feel your skin. When the time comes, baby don’t run, just kiss me slowly.”

It’s the pale blue eyes that caught me.

Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce for “The Cheater”

“So when I think of the time that I almost loved you, you showed your ass and I, I saw the real you. Thank God you blew it, I thank God I dodged a bullet / I wanted you bad, I’m so through with that ‘Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had”

I was the side chick for The Cheater. After our short courting ended, I took a month long vacation to China and came back home. Desperate for a job, I returned to my old gym and that’s where I met Dan. I guess, without The Cheater, there would’ve been a high chance of me not returning to the gym and seeking employment elsewhere.

Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now by Starship for Dan

“Looking in your eyes I see a paradise, this world that I’ve found is too good to be true. Standing here beside you, want so much to give you this love in my heart that I’m feeling for you / I’m so glad I found you, I’m not gonna lose you, thatever it takes I will stay here with you. Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times”

There are a billion love songs that I can choose for Dan but this song by Starship really stood out for me. Whenever it comes on, my first instinct is to smile and think of Dan. We’ve been through some rough patches and even took a break but I absolutely love this guy to death. Moving to Australia, I felt like I could do anything with him by my side.

Any of you guys have that one song that describes a relationship perfectly? Good or bad, let me know!

Letter #3 – Losing you is my life’s biggest regret

Dear Dee,

I know this is a long shot and you’ll probably never see this letter but I just wanted to get it out there.

You were my best friend growing up. You were there through it all and I threw away a decade of friendship over the dumbest reason – a boy.

I was young and immature. We both were. I was getting annoyed and blamed the fall of our friendship on you when I played a part in it as well.

I still remember that night vividly when I walked away from your birthday party. I thought I was defending my boyfriend but in hindsight, I was walking away from our friendship, and that boyfriend became my ex shortly.

I remember Joere and Farhad telling me that I should make amends, and they were telling me that you miss me and wanted to talk to me. But I just dodged your calls and texts. I felt so angry when I felt like you were talking about your boyfriend 24/7 and not acknowledging my feelings or how my day went. I kept on calling you selfish and making excuses to not amend our friendship.

I went through such a dark period in my life but I was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell you that Sukh and I broke up. I grew insanely envious and bitter that you were still with Farhad when I should’ve been happy that you found someone you loved so dearly. I was a shit friend back then.

I remember a few years ago, you haunted my dreams. I took Madison’s advice and sent you a message through Facebook but you left me on read. I don’t blame you but I was hoping you would message back asking for a coffee catch up or something. I miss you dearly.

You still haunt my dreams and I debate if I should reach out again. You moved on from our friendship, but I obviously didn’t. Losing you as my best friend is my biggest regret in life and I wish I could turn back time. I am so sorry for the way I treated you when I was insecure about myself and my relationship. You were my best friend; a great friend. You were always there when I needed you. You were my shopping buddy, my food buddy, my movie buddy.

I don’t know what you’re doing right now but I hope you’re doing well and happy. I bet you are now a strong and beautiful woman carving the best life for yourself. I hope you still think about our friendship once in a while.

And I hope that you could forgive my dumb, immature young self one day because if you ever gave me a chance for a coffee date, I’ll take it in a heartbeat.

Celebrating 2 Years

Last week, Dan and I celebrated our two years anniversary. 

Given what has happened between us, I didn’t want to celebrate our 2 years but Dan pushed for it and said: “whatever happens, it’s still a relationship worth celebrating”. I mean, he’s not wrong… 2 years is worth celebrating.

Since we moved to Australia, we’ve been budgeting and watching our money a bit more closely than we were back at home. Prior to our anniversary, we both agreed to keep it very cheap with no gifts this year. Our original plan was to take a pottery class but we couldn’t find any affordable ones in town and I don’t think Dan wants to spend three hours in class. 

I found a Groupon deal for an All-You-Can-Eat seafood buffet at the Sheraton hotel. It was $99 but works out to be $50 each for dinner, not including drinks yet. I figured that was pretty affordable. 

Let me just say… the seafood buffet was amazeballs! I seriously can’t believe they had AYCE oysters… oysters! I haven’t had raw oysters in ages and was craving them the moment I saw the picture on Groupon. The buffet also had scallops, prawns, crabs, salmon, salads, turkey, and the usual buffet stuff. But, I was all in on the seafood and this was definitely one of the rare meals that I got my money’s worth, lol.

Prior to dinner, I was at home working on some blog stuff and work. I also had an interview as well.

Post interview selfie… because, why not?

We had reservations at 6:30pm so we went into the city to browse and walk a bit. We stopped by Target again to get some umbrellas and Dan wanted socks. We got there half an hour early but they were able to accommodate us right away.

Since we were one of the first tables to arrive, the place was fairly empty. But, the dining area was so, so, so beautiful! It felt like a summer cottage home with the sunlight bathing through.

In no time, we headed towards the buffet and started piling food on our plates.

The first round was purely seafood! I stocked up on oysters (duh), smoked salmon, prawns, mussels and scallops. My least favourite was the prawns… I don’t think I’m a fan of cold prawns.

The second round happened fairly quickly. I went for the usual meat dishes, and topped off with a bit of salad and some more seafood.

I was starting to get full after my second plate but I filled a small plate with a few more things before settling on dessert. I think that since we used Groupon to dine, the waitresses kept on pushing drinks on us so Dan ordered two glasses of wine and I had coke.

The final round was dessert! I’m not a big dessert person but they looked soooo yummy that I had to try some. I think the dessert round was Dan’s favourite, haha.

Dan and I shared some of the desserts so my plate looks a little empty. I loved the chocolate ice cream and the little salted caramel & chocolate tart. Everything else was meh but this is coming from a non-dessert person so don’t take my word for it.

The buffet had a two hour sitting limit and I think we used about 1.45 hours of the 2 hours. I felt so bloated that walking back to the train was hard, haha. 

Fun fact: I got super self-conscious after the buffet that I went to the gym the next day and surprisingly didn’t gain any weight in Melbourne so far! 

To end our anniversary celebration, I got to start my dinosaur book that I’ve been eyeing lately!

Our 1 Year Anniversary

It’s crazy to think that it’s only been a year ago that Dan and I first started dating. The days following up to our anniversary, a lot of our mutual friends and acquaintances can’t believe it’s already been a year. We all felt that it was just yesterday when we were making plans to hang out and being all shy around each other.

I mean, that’s a good thing, right? It’s a good thing that after one year – 365 days – together, it still feels fresh and fun.

Our 1st Anniversary

Last weekend, we celebrated our one year together. On Saturday evening, we exchanged our gifts to each other. Dan gifted me this beautiful polar-bear-fishing snow globe that plays music when you wind it up. He also folded me this origami firework in response to the society “rules” of 1st anniversary gift being something paper based.

Speaking of which, do any of you guys know of that wedding anniversary gifting rules? It’s the first I ever heard of it when Dan told me why he made me a firework origami.

My gift was something I got back in August because it was on sale (lol). You may have seen it around Instagram or Facebook, but I essentially I got him a LoveBook. The book contained about 60 pages of things I love about him 🙂 (Review coming soon!).

Christmas Snow Globe

Anniversary LoveBook

Anniversary LoveBook

On the day of our actual anniversary, we kicked off the date with McDonald’s breakfast. We live a block away from a McDonald’s but it’s something we normally get as a treat, especially breakfast.

It’s nice to be able to stuff your face with greasy breakfast with someone you love dearly and not feel judged, haha.

McDonald's breakfast

After a late breakfast, we headed over to Metrotown to catch the new Justice League movie. I loved Wonder Woman so much, I was excited to see Gal Gadot in action again… she’s just so gorgeous and talented! Overall, the movie was about a 7/10. We both felt that it lacked a very strong villain character and storyline – but other than that, the characters and actors were great. I loved this Barry Allen/The Flash much more than the CW’s The Flash currently airing on TV.

If you guys haven’t seen it yet, definitely check it out in theatres! But, if you’re not down to spend the money, I don’t blame you… it’s something that I wouldn’t mind skipping and waiting for it to come on Netflix or something if I knew what the movie was like.

Justice League Movie Ticket

After the movies, we headed downstairs to Build-a-Bear. Yup, Build-a-Bear! Even I was surprised that Dan agreed to Build-a-Bear! We decided to build each other’s bear as a gift.

I built him a nice tuxedo cat stuffed animal because Dan loooooooooves cats and Dan got me the Beast from Beauty and the Beast because it had such a dumb-looking face, haha.


To end our one year, we went back to one of our favourite restaurants, Memphis Blues. It’s basically BBQ and it’s so, so delicious! Officially the best fries and chicken wings out there.

Memphis Blues

I had a great one year anniversary with someone I love dearly. I’m so happy to experience this day with Dan and wouldn’t have wanted to spend it any other way! I’ve always thought it was about fancy steak dinners and hotel reservations, but I’m so happy with the low key stuffed animals and good food.

I can’t wait for many more years with this boy, and I’m also low key extremely happy to rub our anniversary into the faces of those who thought we wouldn’t make it, for no good valid reasons, haha. I mean, if you’re going to tell me “I thought you guys wouldn’t last” at least provide some logical reasons to back it up… *eye roll*.

Happy anniversary, Dan! I love you always 🙂

Why You May Not Have a Boyfriend

Oh, how dating has changed…

Modern dating is complex. It’s literally a game that has the default level set to difficult. It’s a game that you can’t cheat – I mean, you can try, but it’ll never work out. It’s a game that will leave you feeling vulnerable, upset, happy, exposed, and everything in between. It’s a game that you can win in a few weeks or months, but for some, it could take years to win.

But you know what? It’s a game worth playing because the prize is worth it.

So, what happens when you’ve played this so-called ‘dating game’ for some time but feel like you’re nowhere near the finish line? It feels like there’s just one level that you’re always dying at and the game throws you back the last saved spot.

Have you ever thought that… maybe it’s not the game, but it’s the player?

Here’s my observation with this dating game and why I think it’s typically the player rather than the game.

*Disclaimer: by no means is this post meant to insult or disrespect anyone single! These are just my opinions and observations on why some girls (and guys) are unsuccessful in dating. This is not to say that every girl needs a man in her life – if you choose to be single, you do you (although, why you’re here is a bit odd). And yes, you’re correct… I don’t have a PhD in modern dating.

You go after a specific type of guy. Girls like to have the mentality that they can change a man (read boy), so they go after anyone…. and I mean, anyone that catches their attention. “Bad boys”? – Yup, I can change them! Friends with benefits? – Yup, I can turn him into my boyfriend! Just friends – I can get out of the friendzone. Stop! You shouldn’t have to change someone in order to be with them! When they’re ready to date, they’re ready. Don’t go around trying to change a guy into a boyfriend material or delusion yourself that they’re interested in a relationship with you.

Also, stop going after immature boys. A man would tell you straight up how he feels about you and what he wants from you. Boys will beat around a bush, and make excuses.

You reap what you sow. You can’t expect to get a boyfriend when you’re still out there seeking casual sex from every attractive guy. I mean, it’s not to say that a friends with benefit can’t transition into a boyfriend (I’ve seen this happen before!), but generally speaking, it’s not going to happen. I believe that the more you do something (in this case, casual sex), the more people will associate you as just someone to have sex with. Not to date, but just to have sex.

It’s different to say you want to have sex and you want a boyfriend. If you want nothing but casual sex, you do you. But you can’t say you want casual sex and proceed to hold out for a boyfriend.

You lack interests. If we met and I asked you what do you do for fun or what are some of your interests and you reply with a shrug and say, “I dunno”… I’m going to roll my eyes. If you’re 20-something years old and you still can’t properly define your interests, how are you going to find a guy that holds similar interests? You know how boring that makes you look? Guys love to see the sparkle in a girl’s eye when she rambles on about her interests.

Go out there and find some hobbies and interests! But, whatever you do, don’t make them up. Find yourself having the same interests as the ten billion other people out there? Elaborate on why you’re interested. Set yourself apart because if you say hiking, beer, and travelling … well, what sets you apart from the other potential dates?

Your standards are too high. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any standards when finding a partner but… maybe you’re asking too much? Yes, there is a guy that’s tall, dark, handsome, funny, kind, with a good education and nice paying job, and gets along well with your family and friends, and surprises you with gifts, and is exactly 6 years older than you… but chances are, it’ll probably take years to find someone that matches ALL your standards. I mean, hey, feel free to wait, it’s not my call to say don’t. But… be realistic with your standards.

It’s not to say go date someone without a career just because he’s handsome and kind. Find what suits you and learn to accept that everyone is flawed. If he crosses off the majority of the things you look for in a partner but has one or two things that you’re not keen on, learn to live and love those flaws. Don’t brush someone off just because they didn’t tick ALL your boxes.

Guys judge on appearance. Let’s be real – physical attraction is what gets us talking to people. Majority of the guys I’m friends with, past and present, all had one thing they like about their significant other, or their crush(es) – casual and simple. They love the simple jeans and tee look, or the hair down, settle make up look. When they see that, they see someone that’s lowkey, casual, and relaxing to be with. They also appreciate it when girls put effort into their appearance, but if you’re always dressed up with heels and heavy make up, and carrying only designer bags – guys are probably going to think you’re high maintenance.

If it’s the weekends or after work, ditch the high heels and your $600 dress, and change into a $60 sneakers and a $10 tee. Wipe off that excessive make up and put on some blush and mascara – that’s it. Don’t be dressing in rags and not giving a damn, but just play with your wardrobe a bit and realize that less is more.

You’re desperate. This may sound harsh but there are girls out there that are simply desperate to be in a relationship, and you know what? It shows… and it’s a turn off for a lot of people. Desperation is never a good accessory to wear.

You’re insecure. Similar to desperation, insecurity shows through. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone that doesn’t love themselves. I don’t mean it in a superficial way – I mean it as, you don’t love yourself enough to feel confident about your body and personality; you don’t love yourself enough to respect your space and feel independent. You get overly jealous over little things.

It’s cliche but learn to love yourself before you love someone else. Insecurities in relationships are unhealthy.

Your name mind as well be Negative Nancy. Nobody enjoys being around negative energy, so shut up. It’s okay to moan and complain about things here and there, but to do it constantly to the point where everyone just thinks you’re bitter and angry at the world is another. Be happy. Change your perspective on things and stop complaining so much.

And, sometimes… it’s just your personality. Here’s the thing – you can have interests, looks, and all that but bottom line, your personality could suck. That’s the reality. But, you can change your personality. It’s not a set permanent thing. Maybe you’re waaaaay too obnoxious? Borderline rude and not sassy? Personality plays a huuuuuge factor in attracting the opposite sex and if your personality is shite… well, the game just got harder.

Still with me? I don’t blame you if you mentally just cursed at me right now.

Dating is fun but I think a lot of girls (and even the guys I know) tend to blame the game rather than themselves. Don’t get me wrong – things like Tinder, open relationships, careers, travelling, etc. are all valid reasons that can prevent or make it harder to win this dating game but it’s not near impossible to find someone to date in this modern age.

I don’t hate the dating game – I’ve had my fair shares of being rejected, but I truly believe it’s how we portray ourselves out there that determines whether we have a chance at winning the game or not.

But, hey… like I said earlier – this is just my opinions and every game is different! Best of luck!

The Story of Us

This is a very cliche title, and I hate it. So, you and I both have to suffer through this cringe-worthy title post until one of us comes up with a better title.

I think it’s with safe measures to introduce someone special in my life without me having to become a 33 years old newlywed next week (read Sam). Trust me, after that blew up, I’m playing it on the safe side before I announce anything.

This is Dan and he’s my boyfriend. He’s a few years older than me and is a personal trainer (yuuuuus)… For those who have followed me/us on Instagram or see us on Facebook but don’t know how we came about, well… it’s story time.

Ready? Got a cuppa in hand? (<— that means a cup of tea in British slang).

As everyone knows, I used to work at a gym. In the late summer of 2016, I left that job in pursuit of a recruiting assistant position to kickstart my career. Shortly after I left, my manager decided to hire a few more staffs and Dan was one of them.

I remember the first time I saw Dan when I stopped by the gym a few days after starting my new job – I saw him for a few seconds and was immediately curious about him; however, I saw him as I was exiting the gym so I didn’t stick around to inquire or anything. During this time, I was also casually seeing Sam (oh boy, are you guys in for a treat when I talk about Sam). On a few of our dates, Sam and I would go biking on the seawall and I still got free bike rentals from the gym, despite not working there anymore. One evening, we took the bikes out past 8pm (the closing time for the bike shop) so I had to go to the gym to ask for the keys to the shop next door.

Dan was standing at the front desk, studying from a textbook when I came in and asked for the keys. He was focused on his book but it was the first time I got a glimpse of him and boy, my curiosity from the first time I saw him just kicked into full gear. Now, you’re probably thinking, Claire, you’re seeing Sam… wth? and yes, while I was seeing Sam and he was great and cute, I was still accepting a few things that typically turns me off from a guy. I think the fact that I was never fully 100% attracted to Sam made me eye Dan when I technically shouldn’t have. At this point, I think I also texted a few a girls to ask who the new guy was.

Sam and I were no longer a ‘thing’ shortly after in mid-September… and while it did bruise me a bit, I got over it within a week. September, I also finished my undergrad as well and my parents decided it’d be a fun trip to head over to China for a month.

Let’s fast forward through October 2016 where I was overseas for a month.

After my trip in November, I realized – I’m jobless, broke, and need money to pay bills asap. My recruiter gig didn’t work out for me because it was commission-based and really boring. The gym was the only resort left that would allow me to get a job asap. After a bit of debating, I sucked up my ego and went down to the gym to ask the new manager about getting my job back. Luckily, he was looking to hire and he knew of me.

When I walked out of that meeting with the new manager, I instantly texted Madison and Kat and asked about Dan – mainly if they knew he was single or not. And, to make sure he wasn’t talking to another girl.

Their response? “Dan’s the most single guy on this earth that I know”.


Now, when I see someone I really like and want to get to know, I’m not shy or afraid to make conversation. I really had my eyes out for Dan so, during the first two weeks of working at the gym again, I talked to Dan. We made conversation and we got to know each other. I was literally having a school girl crush on him, and I haven’t felt this way about someone in ages – we’re talking about full on blushing and butterflies in your stomach.

We flirted a bit throughout work as well. And, yes, I like to meet people at work because hell, where else would I meet potential dates? At one point, it was Laura’s birthday party and he said he would come after the UFC fight. He stopped by briefly for a moment to see everyone and wish Laura a happy birthday before leaving. I was upset, not going to lie because I was looking forward to seeing him there. When I asked him about that night later, he said his best friend was drunk AF, and he felt ditching the two of them was wrong. Fair enough, I supposed.

On Remembrance Day, I asked Dan out to the Christmas Market. I remember this day because I was working a bank holiday. He came in for a workout around noon-ish and all I could remember was smiling like an idiot and blushing when he came in. I casually asked him to the Christmas Market which was two weeks away and he agreed. A few moments after that, I realized… well, shit… I gotta wait two weeks to go on this date with him.

Sometime mid next week, I found followed Dan into the staff room – I was getting off work and he was having another food break. I have a sushi tattoo on my inner arm and when I took off my uniform jacket, he got a glimpse of it and we eventually talked about our mutual love for sushi.

He asked me if I wanted to go grab some lunch this weekend with him. Umm… why not?! We made plans but at that time, his phone was broken so he technically didn’t have a working phone so we never exchanged numbers. He said, “I’ll add you on Facebook…. I’ll just find you through Kat’s friends list or something.”

So, I waited. And waited. And waited. It was at night time when he sent the friend request and I honestly couldn’t stop smiling over that little notification that popped up… it’s so silly, isn’t it? I texted the girls and Kat said, “It’s literally just a friend request…”, but it felt like an exchange of numbers seeing as it’s his way of communicating.

A day before Saturday, and then a few hours before meeting up, I was extremely nervous. I thought he would bail out or took this lunch thing as a friends only because… who goes on lunch dates? Friends do. Not romantic partners. The girls reassured me that Dan is a nice guy and someone that follows through with plans and wouldn’t bail or stand me up. They also told me that Dan likes me and it’s definitely not a friends thing.

#OOTD for date.

Our first date was over brunch at Trattoria because the sushi spot was closed for lunch (lame). Everyone at work knew about our date. He asked to hang out some more throughout the week until the weekend rolled around, aka the weekend of the Christmas Market, our original first date.

That weekend, he was working so I stopped by the gym around the time when he’d be off. The Christmas Market was help upstairs so it was fine. When I came by, he was surprised. It turns out, he wasn’t aware we were going to the market… I mean, he knew we were at some point but he didn’t know it was this weekend. But, he dropped all his plans and agreed to come out with me.

Here’s the kicker: before entering the market, he pulled me aside. He said something along the lines of “I like you, but I don’t want anything serious. I want to see you exclusively but just nothing serious.”

Let me tell you – my disappointment was through the roof at that moment. I put on a smile and nodded but it left me disappointed. You know how many times I’ve heard that from someone that I liked? It sucks. It sucks even more when you really wanted to date this guy.

I mean, we still had a great time at the market. He was the first one of us to ask to take a selfie (on the carousel)… which also got me extremely confused seeing as you normally don’t want to take a picture after telling the girl you don’t want anything serious…

First picture together at the Christmas Market.

Girls talk. We do. I talked to the girls at work about the incident and the unison response was, “…what? That makes no sense… How can he ask to see your exclusively without it being serious?”

That sentence boggled me for the longest time. Colleagues that worked with him longer than I have told me that it’s probably a miscommunication mixed with emotions and awkwardness. One of them even suggested I don’t waste any time with him anymore because he just wasn’t serious.

(When asked about this later, he agreed that it was a miscommunication).

In December, I met his best friends and they’re a great bunch of people. I don’t think I’ve ever clicked with any of my previous exes’ friends like this. At times, I still feel like I’m an outsider but for the most part, they’ve accepted me into their group and I’m so blessed and fortunate to call these people friends as well.

We moved in together in March 2017 when his roommate left abruptly. It was good timing as well because at that point of my life, I was looking to move out but didn’t want to live with a complete stranger and none of my friends was moving out either.

I eventually came to meet his brother and father as well. He met my mum too.

We then signed a lease together in May 2017.

And now, we’re due to celebrate our one year anniversary in November 2017!

tldr: Dan and I met at work and started dating in November 2016. We moved in together in March 2017. Signed our first lease together in May 2017. Going to celebrate our one year anniversary in November 2017.

Ladies, if you see someone you like – don’t ever hesitate to make the first move!

10 Signs to Stop Chasing Someone

Last weekend, my friend and I had a talk about relationship problems. It was refreshing to hear a guy’s perspective because it’s often times that women are in this predicament.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with this scenario. Where two individuals see each other but it’s not been defined and he/she is starting to give the other person mixed signals. One person seems to be giving more than the other. One person is starting to get confused and stressed out.

I’ve been on both spectrum of this scenario. I’ve been a victim and I’ve been the one that was “playing” the guy as well. Both is not a fun place to be, especially if you’re the one relentlessly chasing the other person.

From my experiences (and from my friend’s experiences), here are a few signs it’s time to walk away:

1. Their texts/calls is sporadic
Granted, we all work or go to school and have lives of our owns but if you start to notice that your “partner”‘s texts is now disappearing and you’re lucky to get even one text throughout the day, there’s an issue. Nobody is that busy to not be able to return a text. Yeah, it may take a few hours but at the end of the day, their texts come through and there’s a decent conversation going on throughout the day. If you know that individual usually has their phone on them and you sort of know what their schedule is like and you don’t hear from them for the entire day… well…

2. It’s always at midnight
… and when they do text you back, it’s near midnight when all you want to do is go to sleep. And when you do respond to their text, they disappear for another hour or so and get back to you when you’re already asleep.

3. Cancelled plans
They seem enthusiastic at first but when the time comes, you receive a text saying “something came up” and they ask to reschedule, only the rescheduling never happens.

4. Or really late plans
Or, they sometimes want to hang out at 10pm, 11pm or 12am. You know what we call that? A booty call.

5. You’re always the one initiating the conversation/events
If you look back at your texts and you notice that you’re the one always coming up with something to do or starting the conversation, that is a sign that you’re not on their mind as often anymore.

6. You know more of their excuses than you know of their week
I told my friend, if they really care about you, they’ll find the time in their schedule to see you. No one is ever THAT busy. Especially if they have time to go out with their friends on a Friday night.

7. There’s an elephant in the room
After a while, when you two do meet up, you feel there’s an elephant in the room but none of you guys want to address it and just live in the moment because after not seeing them for so long, you tell yourself, everything is ok. It’s not. When you’re with someone, it should feel nice, loving, comfortable, etc. There shouldn’t be any lingering doubts in the room or in the back of your mind.

8. Internally, you know what to do
You feel something about the “relationship” is off. You feel you know what you should do. Your tolerance is up with all their excuses and behaviours, but you don’t want to admit to reality. Your heart is telling you the truth but your mind is trying so hard to fight it off. Both your mind and heart should be on the same page.

9. You’ve started doubting already
My manager once told me, if you’re looking for a job already, you want to leave. My friend once told me, if you doubt [that t-shirt], you don’t want it enough.

So, I believe, if you’ve had doubts for a long period of time already, you know what you have to do. Yes, it’s natural to doubt your relationship and your partner once in a blue moon, but not to have it linger around you and affect your daily life.

10. You want more
You want more than what your partner gives you because you’re not getting the love you deserve. 

I’ve been on this end before and it sucks. But if you face reality, end it, and move on, it’s sooooo much better. You feel free. You feel refreshed. You feel motivated. You feel like nothing to holding you back. Yes, it’s going to hurt for a while, but it does get easier! And yes, it’s easier said that done, but trust me… you’ll feel so much happier.

Relationships are always troubling, but even if you found the “perfect” person, what good does it do if you guys aren’t moving forward? If you always have these lingering feelings in the back of your mind? I’d rather spend time with myself and meet someone that can progress with me in the long run than cause me this heartache and confusion.

I told my friend, if Obama has time for Michelle, she can have time for you. The biggest sign for me to stop chasing someone is their sporadic texts. I know because I use to ignore texts or take hours (and days) to get back to someone I’m not particularly fond of.

In the end, if you know that this “relationship” isn’t going anywhere… get back to reality sooner than later. Focus the energy on someone that can progress your career, life and/or ambitions. You shouldn’t waste your energy and time on someone that doesn’t want your love. There’s someone out there that can give you the world without the confusion.